


It Was a Dark and Sexy Night     ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

by Daryll_B_Consequences



Series: Bob and Helen Parr Fuck [3]
Category: Incredibles (Pixar Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 16:37:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15667089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daryll_B_Consequences/pseuds/Daryll_B_Consequences
Summary: Bob and Helen get fuckin Down and Dirty in this Naughty Noir Novel ;)





	It Was a Dark and Sexy Night     ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It was a cold, stormy night in Metroville, just like any night. I sat in my Incredibile, cigarette in hand. The surgeon general had warned people against smoking. Said it caused cancer. I'd like to see cancer kill Mr Incredible. She hit my eyes like a freightliner and my heart like a liter of mayonnaise. She was stunning. Each thigh was like someone vacuum sealed a ham in a ziploc. Her nose bridge sloped just right and arched into the cutest lil button nose you've ever seen. Her eyes pierced me like a flaming 1000 degree knife. I'd seen her insignia around town and in newspapers. Elastigirl. She could stretch her body any which way she wanted. Suffice it to say, she had my attention. She strolled up to the Incredible, hips swinging wide. "Hey there big boy. I don't think we've met."  
"I think we should remedy that." I said, a cool confidence evident in my voice. She giggled and told me she was Elastigirl. I didn't need to tell her who I was. Just then, an explosion went off at the bank I'd been casing. One named echoed through my mind. "Bomb Voyage." I growled, my voice low and gruff and very manly. Helen looked on in horror, terrified by the Fearsome Frenchman. I told her "It's nothing to worry about." I handed her a stopwatch and told her to time me. Iwent in, beat his ass and came out. 19 seconds. "Damn, must be off tonight. Anyway, wanna bang?" She looked up at me, excited and said "Yes, please." We did the Horizontal Charleston in the backseat of the Incredible. Afterwards she told me I was very good at The Sex, in fact the best of All Time and she gave me a plaque that read "Best at the Fuck." And that, kids, is how I met your mother.


End file.
